International Art Show for Women
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The forest represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The forest represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The water represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The water represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The forest represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
Ambivalence is a series of self-portraits that explores anxiety, identity and an indeterminate sense of self. As a second generation immigrant in Canada, the clash of an Eastern and Western upbringing led to an ambivalent identity. Capturing myself in motion blur visually expresses feelings of anxiety that arise as a result of that ambivalence. The forest represents an emotional element of feeling lost, wandering, and searching for a place in the world.
A cosmic serpent with calm eyes came to me in a winter’s dream with the message: consider what you are holding onto, cannot control, and let it go.
A cosmic serpent with calm eyes came to me in a winter’s dream with the message: consider what you are holding onto, cannot control, and let it go.
Great love, true passion.
Great love, true passion.
In the depths of overwhelm mid 2020, I sat down to try to put the way I felt onto paper. The unending cycle of grief and anxiety felt like waves hitting over and over. My healing journey began with letting myself sit with the vision until I was able to express my heart and mind in this piece "Waves of Anxiety."
In the depths of overwhelm mid 2020, I sat down to try to put the way I felt onto paper. The unending cycle of grief and anxiety felt like waves hitting over and over. My healing journey began with letting myself sit with the vision until I was able to express my heart and mind in this piece "Waves of Anxiety."
This is a self portrait of peace in isolation. In loneliness, you're surrounded by yourself; your thoughts, feelings, and emotions can become intense-- whizzing around your mind in a cacophony of angst, stress, and unease. And then suddenly, randomly, you reach a point of clarity, of relief, where the light hits you just right and you're flipped on your head, feeling almost glad to be alone. It's a relaxing feeling to be at peace within yourself.
This is a self portrait of peace in isolation. In loneliness, you're surrounded by yourself; your thoughts, feelings, and emotions can become intense-- whizzing around your mind in a cacophony of angst, stress, and unease. And then suddenly, randomly, you reach a point of clarity, of relief, where the light hits you just right and you're flipped on your head, feeling almost glad to be alone. It's a relaxing feeling to be at peace within yourself.
My paintings are high-saturation, large scale figurative works with which I depict the emotional distress and a further understanding of isolation. My loneliness stems from my experience moving across the country to live alone at college during COVID.
I choose to confront myself in my most raw form, as a subject who is blemished, not flattered, and not given the luxury of traditional portrait light.
I believe a portrait should be a raw, realistic depiction of a person in their emotional state. When the shadow of the browbone covers the natural curve of the form, the eyes feel sunken in. The eerie yellow light symbolizes the permanence of the state; the return to the feeling every time you enter the space.
My paintings are high-saturation, large scale figurative works with which I depict the emotional distress and a further understanding of isolation. My loneliness stems from my experience moving across the country to live alone at college during COVID.
I choose to confront myself in my most raw form, as a subject who is blemished, not flattered, and not given the luxury of traditional portrait light.
I believe a portrait should be a raw, realistic depiction of a person in their emotional state. When the shadow of the browbone covers the natural curve of the form, the eyes feel sunken in. The eerie yellow light symbolizes the permanence of the state; the return to the feeling every time you enter the space.
I wanted to capture the uncertainty and loneliness that can come with feelings of isolation and otherness. The figure stands at the precipice of indecision, and their position in frame keeps the viewer at an uncomfortable distance. Will they jump? Will they turn on their heels and walk away? Will they ever figure “it” out? I have found myself at this moment many times in my own life. This piece is about three to four years old, one of my first. But I always come back to it to reflect on those troubled times, and find comfort in how far I've come in my personal, professional, and artistic life.
I wanted to capture the uncertainty and loneliness that can come with feelings of isolation and otherness. The figure stands at the precipice of indecision, and their position in frame keeps the viewer at an uncomfortable distance. Will they jump? Will they turn on their heels and walk away? Will they ever figure “it” out? I have found myself at this moment many times in my own life. This piece is about three to four years old, one of my first. But I always come back to it to reflect on those troubled times, and find comfort in how far I've come in my personal, professional, and artistic life.
This piece is inspired by witnessing my husband holding our newborn baby and realising I was witnessing the healing of intergenerational trauma.
This piece is inspired by witnessing my husband holding our newborn baby and realising I was witnessing the healing of intergenerational trauma.
Tarot Cards have been around for centuries. They are perceived as mystical, magic, evil, or a glimpse into the future. But what they really are is a mirror. As a reader of the cards, I've come to understand Tarot is a reflection of self. In this reading, I hold up the Magician, the Empress, and the Sun cards. The Magician tells us that what is above, so it is below, or what is perceived can be manifested. The Empress is taking those thoughts and ideas from inspiration or perception, and births them into the physical realm. Then Sun card is the promise of anything perceived, can be attained. The black cat has also been given a bad rap. She is my familiar and balances the Yin and Yang of this painting opposite the white ritual candle. The knot in the tree that looks like an owl’s face actually exists, and thus owl is part of my medicine. Owl helps see the way through darkness, as does the Tarot. The cloth is one I machine embroidered forty years ago, and use with every reading. It is black to reflect light, like diamonds against black velvet. The Zodiac represents aspects and influences. May light guide your path always!
Tarot Cards have been around for centuries. They are perceived as mystical, magic, evil, or a glimpse into the future. But what they really are is a mirror. As a reader of the cards, I've come to understand Tarot is a reflection of self. In this reading, I hold up the Magician, the Empress, and the Sun cards. The Magician tells us that what is above, so it is below, or what is perceived can be manifested. The Empress is taking those thoughts and ideas from inspiration or perception, and births them into the physical realm. Then Sun card is the promise of anything perceived, can be attained. The black cat has also been given a bad rap. She is my familiar and balances the Yin and Yang of this painting opposite the white ritual candle. The knot in the tree that looks like an owl’s face actually exists, and thus owl is part of my medicine. Owl helps see the way through darkness, as does the Tarot. The cloth is one I machine embroidered forty years ago, and use with every reading. It is black to reflect light, like diamonds against black velvet. The Zodiac represents aspects and influences. May light guide your path always!
Being an identical twin, I struggle to find my individuality outside of my twinship. People often neglect to view me as a separate person. I feel conflicted about possessing aspects that pertain to me that are not within my twinship. I value the connection I share with my sister. At the same time, I want to be my own person. I explore these tensions by making photographs that use portraiture and still-lifes to symbolize aspects of our relationship. My research explores how twins are depicted and treated in society; how the challenges of being a twin overlooked; and the struggles that twins face within and beyond this dueling identity.
Being an identical twin, I struggle to find my individuality outside of my twinship. People often neglect to view me as a separate person. I feel conflicted about possessing aspects that pertain to me that are not within my twinship. I value the connection I share with my sister. At the same time, I want to be my own person. I explore these tensions by making photographs that use portraiture and still-lifes to symbolize aspects of our relationship. My research explores how twins are depicted and treated in society; how the challenges of being a twin overlooked; and the struggles that twins face within and beyond this dueling identity.
Being an identical twin, I struggle to find my individuality outside of my twinship. People often neglect to view me as a separate person. I feel conflicted about possessing aspects that pertain to me that are not within my twinship. I value the connection I share with my sister. At the same time, I want to be my own person. I explore these tensions by making photographs that use portraiture and still-lifes to symbolize aspects of our relationship. My research explores how twins are depicted and treated in society; how the challenges of being a twin overlooked; and the struggles that twins face within and beyond this dueling identity.
Being an identical twin, I struggle to find my individuality outside of my twinship. People often neglect to view me as a separate person. I feel conflicted about possessing aspects that pertain to me that are not within my twinship. I value the connection I share with my sister. At the same time, I want to be my own person. I explore these tensions by making photographs that use portraiture and still-lifes to symbolize aspects of our relationship. My research explores how twins are depicted and treated in society; how the challenges of being a twin overlooked; and the struggles that twins face within and beyond this dueling identity.
what i have failed to see in myself, has been there all along. through the pain, nature has carried me, held me, nurtured me, given me purpose, and now i am coming to terms with who i am, and where i want to go from here.
Nature serves as a constant reminder of the cycle of life, and the inevitable reality of death. I am working to make positive changes in my life currently that are overall contributing to my well being.
Living in the Sierra Nevada in Oakhurst, CA has allowed me to explore my love for various plants, animals, wildflowers, and fungi and has healed my heart in such a tremendous and beautiful way.
what i have failed to see in myself, has been there all along. through the pain, nature has carried me, held me, nurtured me, given me purpose, and now i am coming to terms with who i am, and where i want to go from here.
Nature serves as a constant reminder of the cycle of life, and the inevitable reality of death. I am working to make positive changes in my life currently that are overall contributing to my well being.
Living in the Sierra Nevada in Oakhurst, CA has allowed me to explore my love for various plants, animals, wildflowers, and fungi and has healed my heart in such a tremendous and beautiful way.
A moment in Xanadu, a small male figure gets out of a VW to see the Funky Amazon Doreen enjoying herself in her high heel shoe chair. She's not aware of his presence, nor does she care.
A moment in Xanadu, a small male figure gets out of a VW to see the Funky Amazon Doreen enjoying herself in her high heel shoe chair. She's not aware of his presence, nor does she care.
Doreen is my Full Figured Barbie whose strength and confidence inspires me to be my truest funkadelic self in my life.
Doreen is my Full Figured Barbie whose strength and confidence inspires me to be my truest funkadelic self in my life.
I feel a shift within me
A fire is burning
I am rising from these ashes
I am shining
I am beaming
I am rising from these ashes
I am breaking
Through all of the darkness
I am finally breaking through
I feel a shift within me
A fire is burning
I am rising from these ashes
I am shining
I am beaming
I am rising from these ashes
I am breaking
Through all of the darkness
I am finally breaking through
I am ready for a change in my life. I am ready to move on and to grow
To evolve
The process of change is never easy, it’s never perfect, and that makes this new change very exciting
Contemplating
What’s next for me?
I am ready for a change in my life. I am ready to move on and to grow
To evolve
The process of change is never easy, it’s never perfect, and that makes this new change very exciting
Contemplating
What’s next for me?
I went through a state of depression and the only way I knew to stay afloat was by taking Polaroids and manipulating them in various ways. This particular day I was so depressed the list my therapist told me to start making for motivation just stared at me as I laid on my bedroom floor watching Queen Charlotte.
I went through a state of depression and the only way I knew to stay afloat was by taking Polaroids and manipulating them in various ways. This particular day I was so depressed the list my therapist told me to start making for motivation just stared at me as I laid on my bedroom floor watching Queen Charlotte.
I have always lived in worlds of fantasy from the stories I made up as a child to my career as a Computer Game Designer. My worlds are filled with wondrous creatures, high adventures, learning experiences, and fun. It's a precarious way to make a living, but is is who I am.
I have always lived in worlds of fantasy from the stories I made up as a child to my career as a Computer Game Designer. My worlds are filled with wondrous creatures, high adventures, learning experiences, and fun. It's a precarious way to make a living, but is is who I am.
Delving into themes of Fairy Tales, Mysticism, and Surrealism, my work serves as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious realms, creating a dreamlike ambience. My interpretations of Dark Art and Tarot Archetypes serve as potent symbols, guiding viewers on a journey through mysterious landscapes of the mind and spirit. Drawing from a palette of Symbolism and Mythology, I reimagine timeless narratives, putting a new twist on ancient tales. Nature plays a significant role in my work, often serving as the backdrop for my self-portraits, enhancing the sense of transcendence that pervades my creations.
Delving into themes of Fairy Tales, Mysticism, and Surrealism, my work serves as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious realms, creating a dreamlike ambience. My interpretations of Dark Art and Tarot Archetypes serve as potent symbols, guiding viewers on a journey through mysterious landscapes of the mind and spirit. Drawing from a palette of Symbolism and Mythology, I reimagine timeless narratives, putting a new twist on ancient tales. Nature plays a significant role in my work, often serving as the backdrop for my self-portraits, enhancing the sense of transcendence that pervades my creations.
This piece's theme is the physical manifestation of Imposter Syndrome itself. As a female artist and designer, I always like to go into uncommon themes that lean into shadow work or something chaotic compared to my lighter and more whimsical art. Imposter Syndrome is an internal monologue of my fears as an artist. It is the physical manifestation what imposter syndrome means to me. As an artist, I always believe that the worst enemy you could have is yourself, not anyone else. Its one we we have to fight and deal with everyday, which is why I am choking myself. I wanted to give the fear a "visual voice" through this work. Here, I use the dual imagery of myself harming another copy of myself to further the message that the "critic" I have experienced as an artist and designer is myself.
This piece's theme is the physical manifestation of Imposter Syndrome itself. As a female artist and designer, I always like to go into uncommon themes that lean into shadow work or something chaotic compared to my lighter and more whimsical art. Imposter Syndrome is an internal monologue of my fears as an artist. It is the physical manifestation what imposter syndrome means to me. As an artist, I always believe that the worst enemy you could have is yourself, not anyone else. Its one we we have to fight and deal with everyday, which is why I am choking myself. I wanted to give the fear a "visual voice" through this work. Here, I use the dual imagery of myself harming another copy of myself to further the message that the "critic" I have experienced as an artist and designer is myself.
This is an amalgamation of qualities and energies from this and previous lives which come together in one powerful presence. Having a “10,000-foot view” (hawk’s perspective), as well as connections to the Goddess Pele and ancient Greece, all combine with other faculties to reveal the potency and expansiveness of this incarnation.
This is an amalgamation of qualities and energies from this and previous lives which come together in one powerful presence. Having a “10,000-foot view” (hawk’s perspective), as well as connections to the Goddess Pele and ancient Greece, all combine with other faculties to reveal the potency and expansiveness of this incarnation.
Captured the turmoil of anxiety within the mind through a long-exposure photograph. This visual narrative, created during a week of intense medication adjustments, offers a glimpse into the chaos of a chemical imbalance.
Captured the turmoil of anxiety within the mind through a long-exposure photograph. This visual narrative, created during a week of intense medication adjustments, offers a glimpse into the chaos of a chemical imbalance.
Diving into the depths of self-discovery. I captured a moment of self-reflection through the lens of water, where the refraction distorts the familiar contours of my face. There's beauty in embracing the fluidity of our identities.
Diving into the depths of self-discovery. I captured a moment of self-reflection through the lens of water, where the refraction distorts the familiar contours of my face. There's beauty in embracing the fluidity of our identities.
It was a very mundane Tuesday, but everything was happening all at once. I was weighed down, untethered, and unhinged; wasn't where I wanted to be, what I wanted to be, or who I wanted to be. It felt like a good time to peel it all off and start anew.
It was a very mundane Tuesday, but everything was happening all at once. I was weighed down, untethered, and unhinged; wasn't where I wanted to be, what I wanted to be, or who I wanted to be. It felt like a good time to peel it all off and start anew.
I, like many, have never felt comfortable in my own skin. Ranging from constrained to content, I've never felt truly happy in it; always painfully aware of the space I take up. I am now learning to actively occupy that space, feel every inch of it, and wear this body with pride.
I, like many, have never felt comfortable in my own skin. Ranging from constrained to content, I've never felt truly happy in it; always painfully aware of the space I take up. I am now learning to actively occupy that space, feel every inch of it, and wear this body with pride.
While going through a divorce in my early 30s, I had the thought that a public restroom would be the worst place to die. To make the image, I borrowed a blind owl named Princess who was my symbol of transformation. My spirit self is leaping into my own transition.
While going through a divorce in my early 30s, I had the thought that a public restroom would be the worst place to die. To make the image, I borrowed a blind owl named Princess who was my symbol of transformation. My spirit self is leaping into my own transition.
When I was a young girl, I dreamed of being a nurse but I did not think I was smart enough. I was an activity director for ten years. Once I was working, I thought about being a nurse again. So I went to college but still did not think I could do it. I did not believe in myself. I got tutors, and started at the bottom. Then I become an CNS and worked a bit. Then I went to LVN school and thought that was a far as I can go. Then I started believing in myself again, and found a teacher at Fresno City College who help me with all my match and chemistry classes. I went to RN school and graduated. This is the portrait of me when I was a new nurse. I am proud of being an RN. My whole career I worked in hospitals. I challenge you to believe in yourself.
When I was a young girl, I dreamed of being a nurse but I did not think I was smart enough. I was an activity director for ten years. Once I was working, I thought about being a nurse again. So I went to college but still did not think I could do it. I did not believe in myself. I got tutors, and started at the bottom. Then I become an CNS and worked a bit. Then I went to LVN school and thought that was a far as I can go. Then I started believing in myself again, and found a teacher at Fresno City College who help me with all my match and chemistry classes. I went to RN school and graduated. This is the portrait of me when I was a new nurse. I am proud of being an RN. My whole career I worked in hospitals. I challenge you to believe in yourself.
I’ve done several Little Martha pieces in ceramics, drawings and paintings. The Allman Brothers had a lovely instrumental with that title, but all my Little Martha pieces are named for my mother. She was a wonderful wife, mother, sister, friend, and neighbor. She was reliable, duty-bound, fair, trustworthy and honest. She and my father adored each other, believed in teamwork and kept their fights out of sight. But Mom wanted to be someone else now and then. Don’t we all? So, when I create something woman-like that I think she’d enjoy, I call it “Little Martha.”
I’ve done several Little Martha pieces in ceramics, drawings and paintings. The Allman Brothers had a lovely instrumental with that title, but all my Little Martha pieces are named for my mother. She was a wonderful wife, mother, sister, friend, and neighbor. She was reliable, duty-bound, fair, trustworthy and honest. She and my father adored each other, believed in teamwork and kept their fights out of sight. But Mom wanted to be someone else now and then. Don’t we all? So, when I create something woman-like that I think she’d enjoy, I call it “Little Martha.”
I titled this self-portrait "BELLY LAUGH" because I am so happy creating in my studio and knowing this wonderful space is always there for me. The point of view is from one of my paintings looking up at me with the octagonal top of the ceiling behind my head like a halo.
I titled this self-portrait "BELLY LAUGH" because I am so happy creating in my studio and knowing this wonderful space is always there for me. The point of view is from one of my paintings looking up at me with the octagonal top of the ceiling behind my head like a halo.
Nyctinasty is the movement of plants in response to the onset of darkness, as they "go to sleep"- the closing of their petals and leaves. This is a self portrait based on a small closet in the laboratory where I spend my days, which includes a shelf full of precious botanical specimens. I greet them in the morning, and I tuck them in at night. It is the place that brings me the most peace. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to live my entire life on that shelf, under warm fuchsia grow lights, receiving delicate and loving care every day, closing up my petals in the evenings when the darkness comes.
Nyctinasty is the movement of plants in response to the onset of darkness, as they "go to sleep"- the closing of their petals and leaves. This is a self portrait based on a small closet in the laboratory where I spend my days, which includes a shelf full of precious botanical specimens. I greet them in the morning, and I tuck them in at night. It is the place that brings me the most peace. Sometimes I imagine what it would be like to live my entire life on that shelf, under warm fuchsia grow lights, receiving delicate and loving care every day, closing up my petals in the evenings when the darkness comes.
My vision of self and who I am becoming:
Boundaries are beautiful.
I didn’t always understand this.
Living in the dissonance
where trauma was prevalent,
betrayal was rampant and
boundaries non-existent.
I didn’t know a boundary is not a boundary with out a consequence.
Slowly I lost parts of me.
I thought they were dying.
Fading like leaves on a fall tree.
Living in trauma is exhausting.
Now I see those parts are not dead.
They have been hiding, slumbering, a sort of hibernating.
As I do my work to create boundaries, those lost parts are awakening.
I am creating safety for me.
It is empowering.
I can ask for what I need.
I am building resiliency.
I am becoming connected to myself again.
Holding boundaries is not easy but healing.
I am worth nurturing.
I am blossoming into me.
My vision of self and who I am becoming:
Boundaries are beautiful.
I didn’t always understand this.
Living in the dissonance
where trauma was prevalent,
betrayal was rampant and
boundaries non-existent.
I didn’t know a boundary is not a boundary with out a consequence.
Slowly I lost parts of me.
I thought they were dying.
Fading like leaves on a fall tree.
Living in trauma is exhausting.
Now I see those parts are not dead.
They have been hiding, slumbering, a sort of hibernating.
As I do my work to create boundaries, those lost parts are awakening.
I am creating safety for me.
It is empowering.
I can ask for what I need.
I am building resiliency.
I am becoming connected to myself again.
Holding boundaries is not easy but healing.
I am worth nurturing.
I am blossoming into me.
Representing motion in my self portrait feels most accurate. In this image, my body becomes a flame - always moving and changing, impossible to define.
Representing motion in my self portrait feels most accurate. In this image, my body becomes a flame - always moving and changing, impossible to define.
Representing motion in my self portrait feels most accurate. In this image, my body becomes a flame - always moving and changing, impossible to define. This is the second image in this series of two.
Representing motion in my self portrait feels most accurate. In this image, my body becomes a flame - always moving and changing, impossible to define. This is the second image in this series of two.
In Bathing in Healing Waters, the woman representing my self is no longer mourning, but is now bathing in the waters that are healing her.
In Bathing in Healing Waters, the woman representing my self is no longer mourning, but is now bathing in the waters that are healing her.
A close family friend passed away yesterday and I was reflecting on my memories with her. My most fondest memory was the day my mom took me to work with her when I was 7, Mrs. An was a client of my mom’s and while she worked in housekeeping, Mrs. An would spend time with me on this particular day she saw my hair and said “come over her, your hair looks like a bird’s nest.” She brushed my hair and told me about when she was a little girl she also did not like brushing her hair. My mom was really embarrassed, but Mrs. An meant it with endearment and she cared for us so much. She had her weekly calls with my mom after she moved to Hawaii and she’d check in on all my siblings. Brushing my hair regularly never stuck and to this day my hair still looks like a Bird’s Nest.
A close family friend passed away yesterday and I was reflecting on my memories with her. My most fondest memory was the day my mom took me to work with her when I was 7, Mrs. An was a client of my mom’s and while she worked in housekeeping, Mrs. An would spend time with me on this particular day she saw my hair and said “come over her, your hair looks like a bird’s nest.” She brushed my hair and told me about when she was a little girl she also did not like brushing her hair. My mom was really embarrassed, but Mrs. An meant it with endearment and she cared for us so much. She had her weekly calls with my mom after she moved to Hawaii and she’d check in on all my siblings. Brushing my hair regularly never stuck and to this day my hair still looks like a Bird’s Nest.
This piece is part of a series of the self in ice water, I explore themes of water, oceans and the self regularly in my work. I grew up at Redondo Beach where my mom would drive us every weekend and at night on weekdays. My mother has always been connected to the ocean, knowing when she is angry her waves crash and reach further, when she is calm her waves soothe and when she is sad she stays still. I learned from my mother that some of the harder adult stuff like break ups and loss are healed by sticking my toes in the sand, breathing in ocean air while listening to her waves and having a good cry. A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that the bus I was on went past my home, past California and through Antarctica eventually crashing into ice waters. I woke up surprised in the bus and started sketching these ideas of my self in ice water, as each piece progresses the woman representing me starts feeling better and better about where she is.
This piece is part of a series of the self in ice water, I explore themes of water, oceans and the self regularly in my work. I grew up at Redondo Beach where my mom would drive us every weekend and at night on weekdays. My mother has always been connected to the ocean, knowing when she is angry her waves crash and reach further, when she is calm her waves soothe and when she is sad she stays still. I learned from my mother that some of the harder adult stuff like break ups and loss are healed by sticking my toes in the sand, breathing in ocean air while listening to her waves and having a good cry. A couple of weeks ago I had a dream that the bus I was on went past my home, past California and through Antarctica eventually crashing into ice waters. I woke up surprised in the bus and started sketching these ideas of my self in ice water, as each piece progresses the woman representing me starts feeling better and better about where she is.
Age has a way of creeping up on me. Solemn thoughts with a dash of grace and mercy to bring me back to my awareness of my faith in Christ. Joy fills my heart with celebration and for a carefree moment, I twirl.
Age has a way of creeping up on me. Solemn thoughts with a dash of grace and mercy to bring me back to my awareness of my faith in Christ. Joy fills my heart with celebration and for a carefree moment, I twirl.
Our little pond was full of lotus blooms last summer and I enjoyed seeing the surface of the dew covered leaf juxtaposed with my reflection and the way my fingers and the lotus roots visually entwined.
Our little pond was full of lotus blooms last summer and I enjoyed seeing the surface of the dew covered leaf juxtaposed with my reflection and the way my fingers and the lotus roots visually entwined.
When women were studying in art school in the 1970's we were told that if we were serious we would have to pass on motherhood as the demands would be too great. I never did follow other people's rules. Now I can celebrate being a grandmother and I never stopped making art.
When women were studying in art school in the 1970's we were told that if we were serious we would have to pass on motherhood as the demands would be too great. I never did follow other people's rules. Now I can celebrate being a grandmother and I never stopped making art.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This is a self-portrait in a broad sense, in that each element – the human figure, the animal, and the landscape itself – represents an aspect of myself. Yet the painting also belongs to a longstanding, creative commitment to non-human life. This is part of a series of thirty pieces on wood or paper titled "Between the moon and me" (2023), which emerged in response to a major health issue, which led me to reflect upon my changing awareness of and relationship to my “femininity” throughout my life. Marking a return to symbols and themes that were important to me as a young feminist artist in the early 1990s, the series develops my ongoing interest in depicting human-animal relationships as profound, mutual, symbolic, and transformative.
This collage offers an abstract look at a variety of selves/bodies/body types as aspects of the inner self and the self through time.
This collage offers an abstract look at a variety of selves/bodies/body types as aspects of the inner self and the self through time.
Women in the Western world still continue to face age discrimination. In our throw-away society there is the misconception that if the ‘product’ is not shiny, bright and new, the interior will also be of a similar condition. This leads to the assumption that middle-aged and older persons have passed their usefulness, particularly in the business world. What a waste of experience, talent and perception we sadly choose to ignore. Let us hope that as our society continues to age we will appreciate all the gifts that our elders have to share.
Women in the Western world still continue to face age discrimination. In our throw-away society there is the misconception that if the ‘product’ is not shiny, bright and new, the interior will also be of a similar condition. This leads to the assumption that middle-aged and older persons have passed their usefulness, particularly in the business world. What a waste of experience, talent and perception we sadly choose to ignore. Let us hope that as our society continues to age we will appreciate all the gifts that our elders have to share.
This piece truly exhibits my experiences with chronic pain and disability. I have struggled with chronic pain for about six or seven years, and I am only just now finding true answers as to what is going on with me. I created 'Self Portrait' to deal with the overwhelming emotion that comes with a body in constant pain, constantly being poked and prodded by doctors, and still being somewhat of a medical mystery. Each segment of this piece is based on myself: the brain is taken directly from an MRI I had done, the bubbles in the torso are interpretations of my internal organs during surgery, and the syringes surrounding my head are the vials of blood I have to get drawn for labs every few months. Many of my struggles have come from endometriosis and PCOS, though they don't explain everything. Many of my experiences have been discounted by doctors as a result of my hormones, reduced to one small aspect of me and not my entire body. However, I have recently discovered that I am hypermobile, have fibromyalgia, and possibly have a host of other conditions causing this pain. I have been invalidated time and time again by the medical system, and have been forced to give up parts of myself to cope with these issues. I have surrendered some aspects of my autonomy for my health. I wanted to inject that rage of being a lab rat, being discounted, reduced to parts of a whole, into this piece. This is my experience with womanhood, turned into objects to inspect.
This piece truly exhibits my experiences with chronic pain and disability. I have struggled with chronic pain for about six or seven years, and I am only just now finding true answers as to what is going on with me. I created 'Self Portrait' to deal with the overwhelming emotion that comes with a body in constant pain, constantly being poked and prodded by doctors, and still being somewhat of a medical mystery. Each segment of this piece is based on myself: the brain is taken directly from an MRI I had done, the bubbles in the torso are interpretations of my internal organs during surgery, and the syringes surrounding my head are the vials of blood I have to get drawn for labs every few months. Many of my struggles have come from endometriosis and PCOS, though they don't explain everything. Many of my experiences have been discounted by doctors as a result of my hormones, reduced to one small aspect of me and not my entire body. However, I have recently discovered that I am hypermobile, have fibromyalgia, and possibly have a host of other conditions causing this pain. I have been invalidated time and time again by the medical system, and have been forced to give up parts of myself to cope with these issues. I have surrendered some aspects of my autonomy for my health. I wanted to inject that rage of being a lab rat, being discounted, reduced to parts of a whole, into this piece. This is my experience with womanhood, turned into objects to inspect.
Inspired by my journey through the covid period & self discovery of why I've felt different my whole life,this painting depicts the strength that comes from within a mother, especially one that is living in a Neuro diverse body but a neuro typical surrounding.
The refraction through water, multiple canvases, & the square boxes within the painting represent my struggles with every day life.From simply dealing with my daily emotional dysregulation, to the ongoing anxiety where I feel like I'm only just keeping above water whilst trying to keep everything together and present my life as if I'M OK.
Inspired by my journey through the covid period & self discovery of why I've felt different my whole life,this painting depicts the strength that comes from within a mother, especially one that is living in a Neuro diverse body but a neuro typical surrounding.
The refraction through water, multiple canvases, & the square boxes within the painting represent my struggles with every day life.From simply dealing with my daily emotional dysregulation, to the ongoing anxiety where I feel like I'm only just keeping above water whilst trying to keep everything together and present my life as if I'M OK.
To confront those normalized structures on how to live, believe, reproduce, behave, consume, hate, love and die.
To confront those normalized structures on how to live, believe, reproduce, behave, consume, hate, love and die.
In a dynamic time of uncertainty, the options are overwhelming. Mapping them can make elusive the notion of "control". Connection and detachment meet on different levels of the self.
In a dynamic time of uncertainty, the options are overwhelming. Mapping them can make elusive the notion of "control". Connection and detachment meet on different levels of the self.
Chronic pain can make you depressed, so I decide to take action and run from it in my mind. But at the same time float around it and don't mind it. External factors can be a bother.
Chronic pain can make you depressed, so I decide to take action and run from it in my mind. But at the same time float around it and don't mind it. External factors can be a bother.
From the very beginning, my vision for this piece was to create something that could help me have a physical form for how I was feeling with my mental well being in relation to past trauma. "I Thought I Was Better" was made with the main function of being somewhere I could sort my feelings out while having something physical I could point to and go 'this is how I feel'. I wanted to be able get out my frustration with feeling like I was supposed to be in a better place that a lot of people, including myself, honestly thought I was in, until a panic attack made me realize I wasn't really past everything. I wanted to represent myself, with the clean and "presentable" image being shown on the outside with a very smooth texture, and a clear glaze. But, I wanted the emotions that are there and randomly bubble up to have that contrast, with dark red and jagged textures on the inside. I did want there to be hints of it not being a perfect figure, and opted with going with a much more abstract form that I built primarily while it was still rather wet to let the clay sag in mostly on its own to give it some sense of sadness, that the piece itself is unwell. I chose to fire it in a reduction fire to bring out deeper colors to even further the contrast for how I presented myself, and how I felt I was supposed to be, versus how I truly felt on the inside.
From the very beginning, my vision for this piece was to create something that could help me have a physical form for how I was feeling with my mental well being in relation to past trauma. "I Thought I Was Better" was made with the main function of being somewhere I could sort my feelings out while having something physical I could point to and go 'this is how I feel'. I wanted to be able get out my frustration with feeling like I was supposed to be in a better place that a lot of people, including myself, honestly thought I was in, until a panic attack made me realize I wasn't really past everything. I wanted to represent myself, with the clean and "presentable" image being shown on the outside with a very smooth texture, and a clear glaze. But, I wanted the emotions that are there and randomly bubble up to have that contrast, with dark red and jagged textures on the inside. I did want there to be hints of it not being a perfect figure, and opted with going with a much more abstract form that I built primarily while it was still rather wet to let the clay sag in mostly on its own to give it some sense of sadness, that the piece itself is unwell. I chose to fire it in a reduction fire to bring out deeper colors to even further the contrast for how I presented myself, and how I felt I was supposed to be, versus how I truly felt on the inside.
Inspired by a conversation wherein my parents told me their thoughts on my value, based on what I chose to do with my life.
Inspired by a conversation wherein my parents told me their thoughts on my value, based on what I chose to do with my life.
This is an internal self-portrait. I often find myself wishing to be connected to nature whilst keeping myself 'hidden' in order to fully immerse into a place. This poem expresses those wishes.
This place is bigger than you and I
It’s older
Bolder
It reaches out in long strands of light and lichen
Into those deep crevasses of rock where a longing heart quickens
Silhouetted against these gilded hills
Sits the idea of us
In this grand expanse
Stirs that delicate romance of nostalgia
In notes and soft phrases of wind
Do not ask me for I do not know
How this place came to be
I only know the sounds of the birds
And the way those shadows move
Beneath the boughs
Of the oldest Oak trees
e.e.
This is an internal self-portrait. I often find myself wishing to be connected to nature whilst keeping myself 'hidden' in order to fully immerse into a place. This poem expresses those wishes.
This place is bigger than you and I
It’s older
Bolder
It reaches out in long strands of light and lichen
Into those deep crevasses of rock where a longing heart quickens
Silhouetted against these gilded hills
Sits the idea of us
In this grand expanse
Stirs that delicate romance of nostalgia
In notes and soft phrases of wind
Do not ask me for I do not know
How this place came to be
I only know the sounds of the birds
And the way those shadows move
Beneath the boughs
Of the oldest Oak trees
e.e.
When I moved back to the Valley after living away for so long, I developed asthma from all of the allergens and pollutants that I started breathing again. I wanted to create a piece that represented what we are breathing in on a daily basis and as a way for others with lung health problems to be able to see their lung heath represented in art.
When I moved back to the Valley after living away for so long, I developed asthma from all of the allergens and pollutants that I started breathing again. I wanted to create a piece that represented what we are breathing in on a daily basis and as a way for others with lung health problems to be able to see their lung heath represented in art.
My vision of self would not be complete without acknowledging the women who have and continue to shape me; from great grandmothers, grandmothers mother, sisters, daughters and friends. There are also elements of places, symbols and words that I hold dear...essentially the elements of self.
My vision of self would not be complete without acknowledging the women who have and continue to shape me; from great grandmothers, grandmothers mother, sisters, daughters and friends. There are also elements of places, symbols and words that I hold dear...essentially the elements of self.
I am someone who is very good at masking and compartmentalizing and very bad at asking others for help (think the “I’m fine” meme, at all times). Photography and art have always been very therapeutic for me. This series of images was created in my studio, allowing myself a safe space to feel some of my emotions and not just hold them in. So often we only see the best moments of people’s lives through the small windows of their social media feeds. Perfect portraits that have been posed and retouched to offer our best appearance to the outside world. It is important to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and powerful to express our truths even when they might not be light and happy all the time.
I am someone who is very good at masking and compartmentalizing and very bad at asking others for help (think the “I’m fine” meme, at all times). Photography and art have always been very therapeutic for me. This series of images was created in my studio, allowing myself a safe space to feel some of my emotions and not just hold them in. So often we only see the best moments of people’s lives through the small windows of their social media feeds. Perfect portraits that have been posed and retouched to offer our best appearance to the outside world. It is important to allow ourselves to be vulnerable and powerful to express our truths even when they might not be light and happy all the time.
The vision behind this piece flows from a moment of awareness of how one experiences reality through
a subjective perspective. I was enthralled by the dramatic and colorful cloud formations I saw overhead after a violent storm passed over my hill and across the valley below. Artist that I am, what I felt most inspiring about that intense scene were the sumptuous velvety gray and pink clouds and I knew that I had to paint them as such. At the same time, however, as a female artist I felt a twinge of anxiety that perhaps the color scheme might be construed unfairly as being restrictively gender specific!!
The vision behind this piece flows from a moment of awareness of how one experiences reality through
a subjective perspective. I was enthralled by the dramatic and colorful cloud formations I saw overhead after a violent storm passed over my hill and across the valley below. Artist that I am, what I felt most inspiring about that intense scene were the sumptuous velvety gray and pink clouds and I knew that I had to paint them as such. At the same time, however, as a female artist I felt a twinge of anxiety that perhaps the color scheme might be construed unfairly as being restrictively gender specific!!
I love seeing the wildflowers that proliferate on my property in the spring, and as I have aged I find myself increasingly identifying with what I perceive to be their hardy and steadfast resilience. Like these lovely flowers, I persist through the harsh challenges life inevitably casts before one, and I find a way to thrive.
I love seeing the wildflowers that proliferate on my property in the spring, and as I have aged I find myself increasingly identifying with what I perceive to be their hardy and steadfast resilience. Like these lovely flowers, I persist through the harsh challenges life inevitably casts before one, and I find a way to thrive.
After retiring from 20 plus years of making alginate molds, this image expresses emerging into a new phase.
After retiring from 20 plus years of making alginate molds, this image expresses emerging into a new phase.
I have been working with images of hands for an upcoming show and blended the black and white of my hands into the photo I had of a hollow in a tree. It evokes my tendency to shelter and nest and be one with the trees.
I have been working with images of hands for an upcoming show and blended the black and white of my hands into the photo I had of a hollow in a tree. It evokes my tendency to shelter and nest and be one with the trees.
I had just lost my husband a few months before. I wanted to express the sadness in just staring at the kitchen table. There is no face on the watch because time stood still.
I had just lost my husband a few months before. I wanted to express the sadness in just staring at the kitchen table. There is no face on the watch because time stood still.
Elements of the psyche relating to the Unconscious may be perceptible in the artist's work. Here, Id and Ego are having a conversation. They are not seeing eye to eye.
Elements of the psyche relating to the Unconscious may be perceptible in the artist's work. Here, Id and Ego are having a conversation. They are not seeing eye to eye.
This project comes from my own vulnerability toward skin discomfort. Diverse fluffy, bumpy textures symbolize an array of scars and wounds. Flat wall pieces undergo metamorphosis, turning into a garment-like piece. This transformation expresses not only my complicated emotions toward my vulnerability, but also a visual metaphor of overcoming negative emotions.
This project comes from my own vulnerability toward skin discomfort. Diverse fluffy, bumpy textures symbolize an array of scars and wounds. Flat wall pieces undergo metamorphosis, turning into a garment-like piece. This transformation expresses not only my complicated emotions toward my vulnerability, but also a visual metaphor of overcoming negative emotions.
Pictured is an awkward, vulnerable, routine position that women are intimately familiar with. The purpose of my self-portrait is best expressed by the reactions it garnered:
“This is so beautiful.” - My darling sister.
“It looks like a slug.” - A male acquaintance.
I am unsure of which is true.
Pictured is an awkward, vulnerable, routine position that women are intimately familiar with. The purpose of my self-portrait is best expressed by the reactions it garnered:
“This is so beautiful.” - My darling sister.
“It looks like a slug.” - A male acquaintance.
I am unsure of which is true.
I am Investigating one's relationship with the environment and how it influences mental and physical health. Through gardening, I have a connection to the natural spaces of foliage and plant life, which I depict. The paintings focus on the thoughts and feelings of this woman, encoded by this lush, natural space, all without the interruption and burden of societal pressures.
I am Investigating one's relationship with the environment and how it influences mental and physical health. Through gardening, I have a connection to the natural spaces of foliage and plant life, which I depict. The paintings focus on the thoughts and feelings of this woman, encoded by this lush, natural space, all without the interruption and burden of societal pressures.
This piece was inspired by the strength and beauty of womanhood and the various roles that many of us as women play; friend, wife, mother.
A vintage wooden box becomes the base for “fragments” or pieces of a life. This piece is rich in symbolism from the feathers signifying feminine strength,to the yellow roses, quartz crystals, sage, butterflies, and repurposed cards, motivational quotes, and personal mementos. While each woman’s life is unique, the viewer is bound to recognize some of the common ties that bind us.
This piece was inspired by the strength and beauty of womanhood and the various roles that many of us as women play; friend, wife, mother.
A vintage wooden box becomes the base for “fragments” or pieces of a life. This piece is rich in symbolism from the feathers signifying feminine strength,to the yellow roses, quartz crystals, sage, butterflies, and repurposed cards, motivational quotes, and personal mementos. While each woman’s life is unique, the viewer is bound to recognize some of the common ties that bind us.
This past year was an profoundly difficult year for me personally. In the wake of three back to back untimely and tragic deaths in my family, culminating with losing my father, this piece was created out of the often deep and overwhelming oppression that grief can hold
over our spirits.
The outer layers of lighter gradiations lend depth to the perspective as the viewer is pulled inward into the darker interior.This is reflective of the drowning nature of grief and it’s ability to pull us into depression and despair. The outer rims of the spiral contains tiny specks of light, however, a reminder that even on the darkest nights of the soul, there is still light to be found if we only look up…
This past year was an profoundly difficult year for me personally. In the wake of three back to back untimely and tragic deaths in my family, culminating with losing my father, this piece was created out of the often deep and overwhelming oppression that grief can hold
over our spirits.
The outer layers of lighter gradiations lend depth to the perspective as the viewer is pulled inward into the darker interior.This is reflective of the drowning nature of grief and it’s ability to pull us into depression and despair. The outer rims of the spiral contains tiny specks of light, however, a reminder that even on the darkest nights of the soul, there is still light to be found if we only look up…
This piece explores the complex nature of human emotions under the multitude of distractions we face. The use of bold color, brushstrokes, and smeared facial emotions challenges the viewer to perceive beyond the distractions and to find the subject's gaze.
This piece explores the complex nature of human emotions under the multitude of distractions we face. The use of bold color, brushstrokes, and smeared facial emotions challenges the viewer to perceive beyond the distractions and to find the subject's gaze.
This piece represents a deep-rooted connection to the earth. It suggest a harmony between human existence and the natural environment. The interplay of textures and materials invites contemplation on the impermanence and fragility of life, while the gentle expression of the face evokes a quite conversation with nature.
This piece represents a deep-rooted connection to the earth. It suggest a harmony between human existence and the natural environment. The interplay of textures and materials invites contemplation on the impermanence and fragility of life, while the gentle expression of the face evokes a quite conversation with nature.
This self portrait is meant to embody consumption and its impact on me physically and mentally. The codependent relationship with technology makes me feel like a zombies at times. An unhealthy relationship where the ultimate question of our fate still remains. Who will consume who?
This self portrait is meant to embody consumption and its impact on me physically and mentally. The codependent relationship with technology makes me feel like a zombies at times. An unhealthy relationship where the ultimate question of our fate still remains. Who will consume who?
Consumed by the thoughts of what is real or imagined; is everything broken?
Consumed by the thoughts of what is real or imagined; is everything broken?
Are they too innocent, optimistic or deliberately avoiding the red flags?
Are they too innocent, optimistic or deliberately avoiding the red flags?
swirling thoughts.
the endless to-do list.
fill each day to the brim.
what about tomorrow?
working through difficult issues:
rejection.
loneliness.
grief.
be the bigger person…come from a place of love…
give love.
get love.
overlook the negativity surrounding you.
control the negativity within you.
it will eat you alive.
let it go.
be kind.
move forward with grace.
notice and move on.
listen to your intuition.
sometimes…break the rules.
be bold.
set boundaries.
discover joy.
hold it close.
let your heart sing!
give me one moment in time.
no regrets…
swirling thoughts.
the endless to-do list.
fill each day to the brim.
what about tomorrow?
working through difficult issues:
rejection.
loneliness.
grief.
be the bigger person…come from a place of love…
give love.
get love.
overlook the negativity surrounding you.
control the negativity within you.
it will eat you alive.
let it go.
be kind.
move forward with grace.
notice and move on.
listen to your intuition.
sometimes…break the rules.
be bold.
set boundaries.
discover joy.
hold it close.
let your heart sing!
give me one moment in time.
no regrets…
“Looking Back” can be many things, it can be joy-filled or heavy with melancholy. I look for encouragement, for signs of personal progress, of finding light in the darkness.
“Looking Back” can be many things, it can be joy-filled or heavy with melancholy. I look for encouragement, for signs of personal progress, of finding light in the darkness.
Alexithymia, or the "inability to articulate emotions," also known as emotional blindness – prevents introspection to acknowledge emotions. To address emotional blindness, we must engage in external reflection and analysis. This process may sometimes lead to endless rumination and a sense of alienation as it places you as perpetual outsider to your own emotions. How do we then separate the internal and external aspects of our bodies and selves, especially when emotions are triggered by external forces? It prompts us to consider what defines the liminal space, the threshold between the internal and external, of our bodies and the physical world around us. The physical world around us mirrors our internal landscape, as I perceive it as reflections of the world within me. Though words may sometimes fail to express my emotions, I find that it's through these physical elements that I can most genuinely describe how I feel—the crevices, constructions, and the light filtering through curtains that surround me.
Alexithymia, or the "inability to articulate emotions," also known as emotional blindness – prevents introspection to acknowledge emotions. To address emotional blindness, we must engage in external reflection and analysis. This process may sometimes lead to endless rumination and a sense of alienation as it places you as perpetual outsider to your own emotions. How do we then separate the internal and external aspects of our bodies and selves, especially when emotions are triggered by external forces? It prompts us to consider what defines the liminal space, the threshold between the internal and external, of our bodies and the physical world around us. The physical world around us mirrors our internal landscape, as I perceive it as reflections of the world within me. Though words may sometimes fail to express my emotions, I find that it's through these physical elements that I can most genuinely describe how I feel—the crevices, constructions, and the light filtering through curtains that surround me.
Alexithymia, or the "inability to articulate emotions," also known as emotional blindness – prevents introspection to acknowledge emotions. To address emotional blindness, we must engage in external reflection and analysis. This process may sometimes lead to endless rumination and a sense of alienation as it places you as perpetual outsider to your own emotions. How do we then separate the internal and external aspects of our bodies and selves, especially when emotions are triggered by external forces? It prompts us to consider what defines the liminal space, the threshold between the internal and external, of our bodies and the physical world around us. The physical world around us mirrors our internal landscape, as I perceive it as reflections of the world within me. Though words may sometimes fail to express my emotions, I find that it's through these physical elements that I can most genuinely describe how I feel—the crevices, constructions, and the light filtering through curtains that surround me.
Alexithymia, or the "inability to articulate emotions," also known as emotional blindness – prevents introspection to acknowledge emotions. To address emotional blindness, we must engage in external reflection and analysis. This process may sometimes lead to endless rumination and a sense of alienation as it places you as perpetual outsider to your own emotions. How do we then separate the internal and external aspects of our bodies and selves, especially when emotions are triggered by external forces? It prompts us to consider what defines the liminal space, the threshold between the internal and external, of our bodies and the physical world around us. The physical world around us mirrors our internal landscape, as I perceive it as reflections of the world within me. Though words may sometimes fail to express my emotions, I find that it's through these physical elements that I can most genuinely describe how I feel—the crevices, constructions, and the light filtering through curtains that surround me.
“Eclipsed Luminescence,” emerges as a reminder to always try to reach for the light in a battle against the darkness. The central motif of the artwork revolves around a lone figure, reaching skyward toward an ethereal source of radiant light. The juxtaposition of the stark shadows against the luminous glow creates a dynamic tension, symbolizing the perpetual conflict between the forces of despair and the unwavering resolve to embrace hope.
The intricate play of textures and colors within the piece mirrors the complexities of the human experience. Vibrant hues and subtle shades converge, forming a symbolic tapestry that weaves together moments of triumph and tribulation. The dichotomy of light and darkness is not only portrayed through contrasting elements but also through the harmonious fusion of disparate elements, emphasizing the delicate balance required to navigate life’s intricacies.
The piece is an invitation for introspection, a reminder that, even in the bleakest moments, there exists a resilience that fuels our quest for enlightenment. It beckons the viewer to reflect on their own journey, to consider the shadows they’ve confronted, and the strength required to emerge on the other side, bathed in the warm glow of self-discovery.
“Eclipsed Luminescence” serves as both a reflection of personal struggles and a universal ode to the spirit that propels us to reach for the light, finding solace in the battle against the encircling darkness.
“Eclipsed Luminescence,” emerges as a reminder to always try to reach for the light in a battle against the darkness. The central motif of the artwork revolves around a lone figure, reaching skyward toward an ethereal source of radiant light. The juxtaposition of the stark shadows against the luminous glow creates a dynamic tension, symbolizing the perpetual conflict between the forces of despair and the unwavering resolve to embrace hope.
The intricate play of textures and colors within the piece mirrors the complexities of the human experience. Vibrant hues and subtle shades converge, forming a symbolic tapestry that weaves together moments of triumph and tribulation. The dichotomy of light and darkness is not only portrayed through contrasting elements but also through the harmonious fusion of disparate elements, emphasizing the delicate balance required to navigate life’s intricacies.
The piece is an invitation for introspection, a reminder that, even in the bleakest moments, there exists a resilience that fuels our quest for enlightenment. It beckons the viewer to reflect on their own journey, to consider the shadows they’ve confronted, and the strength required to emerge on the other side, bathed in the warm glow of self-discovery.
“Eclipsed Luminescence” serves as both a reflection of personal struggles and a universal ode to the spirit that propels us to reach for the light, finding solace in the battle against the encircling darkness.
Leaving the pains behind, we live and we learn
Leaving the pains behind, we live and we learn
Probably, looking at this picture, you see two girls. I want to assure you that this is an optical illusion. There is only one person depicted here - it's me. I don't have a twin sister, I don't have a split personality. It’s just that recently I began to think about how, if left alone, I could find the strength to fight the adversities and injustice of life. Problems surround me like vultures every day, and more than once I plunged into depressive thoughts, but every time some force invisible to others appeared that helped me cope with all the difficulties. She is the one who will help me straighten my shoulders and raise my head to see new perspectives and all kinds of solutions to problems. She will hug and support. She is me. This may sound sad, but no matter what, no matter who betrays me and no matter what happens, I will achieve my goal because I have me.
Probably, looking at this picture, you see two girls. I want to assure you that this is an optical illusion. There is only one person depicted here - it's me. I don't have a twin sister, I don't have a split personality. It’s just that recently I began to think about how, if left alone, I could find the strength to fight the adversities and injustice of life. Problems surround me like vultures every day, and more than once I plunged into depressive thoughts, but every time some force invisible to others appeared that helped me cope with all the difficulties. She is the one who will help me straighten my shoulders and raise my head to see new perspectives and all kinds of solutions to problems. She will hug and support. She is me. This may sound sad, but no matter what, no matter who betrays me and no matter what happens, I will achieve my goal because I have me.
When I am upset I cannot always show it, but it's there behind me.
When I am upset I cannot always show it, but it's there behind me.
Women are the calm and the storm. We are often the voice of reason and compassion, yet we will rise and fiercely fight for our rights to autonomy, equality, leadership, and merely the right to exist in this world. In my life I've seen technology vastly advance our culture and quality of life, yet in the "real world" the rights of women—and all marginalized groups—are being regressed to the puritanical. Be the storm and don't accept it.
Women are the calm and the storm. We are often the voice of reason and compassion, yet we will rise and fiercely fight for our rights to autonomy, equality, leadership, and merely the right to exist in this world. In my life I've seen technology vastly advance our culture and quality of life, yet in the "real world" the rights of women—and all marginalized groups—are being regressed to the puritanical. Be the storm and don't accept it.
This piece explores the human experience of times in our lives when we feel stuck, fragmented, and stagnant. It portrays a vulnerable space where we may feel lost and questioning. In this pause, we may have an inner knowing that the solution will not come from outside of ourselves.
The process of moving forward requires a deliberate and mindful reconstruction, gathering up scattered pieces and slowly sewing them back together one by one over time. In this contemplative space, this blocked energy can begin to be shifted by replacing resistance with surrender.
The artwork reflects the journey of desiring to overcome barriers and acknowledging that solutions are often elusive. The transformative process, once initiated, leads to a shifting of energy, though this may require patience and unwavering trust in the process, even slow progress or moments of apparent stagnation. In these moments, it is important to be gentle with ourselves.
Rather than a linear narrative of overcoming obstacles, "Blocked" prompts a deeper contemplation of finding peace even when we feel stuck. It invites viewers to trust that their quiet moments of struggle and challenges are a part of the ebb and flow of existence.
This piece explores the human experience of times in our lives when we feel stuck, fragmented, and stagnant. It portrays a vulnerable space where we may feel lost and questioning. In this pause, we may have an inner knowing that the solution will not come from outside of ourselves.
The process of moving forward requires a deliberate and mindful reconstruction, gathering up scattered pieces and slowly sewing them back together one by one over time. In this contemplative space, this blocked energy can begin to be shifted by replacing resistance with surrender.
The artwork reflects the journey of desiring to overcome barriers and acknowledging that solutions are often elusive. The transformative process, once initiated, leads to a shifting of energy, though this may require patience and unwavering trust in the process, even slow progress or moments of apparent stagnation. In these moments, it is important to be gentle with ourselves.
Rather than a linear narrative of overcoming obstacles, "Blocked" prompts a deeper contemplation of finding peace even when we feel stuck. It invites viewers to trust that their quiet moments of struggle and challenges are a part of the ebb and flow of existence.
This was taken at the Yaquina Head Lighthouse on the Oregon Coast, embodying a journey of strength and resilience. Lighthouses, symbols of guidance, shine a light through dark and turbulent seas, serving as beacons in challenging times.
Climbing the spiral staircase to the lighthouse light posed a personal challenge due to chronic illness and a fear of heights. Despite these obstacles, each step became a testament to the courage of facing fear and navigating towards the awaiting light.
Reflecting on this experience, the photograph captures the transformative power found in navigating through challenges. It represents the bravery we all need to face our fears so that we can move forward, become more grounded and confident within ourselves, and ultimately find our way towards the light in even the darkest of times. In a world full of uncertainty and challenges, the lighthouse reminds us that there is always a guiding light that can help us find our way home.
This was taken at the Yaquina Head Lighthouse on the Oregon Coast, embodying a journey of strength and resilience. Lighthouses, symbols of guidance, shine a light through dark and turbulent seas, serving as beacons in challenging times.
Climbing the spiral staircase to the lighthouse light posed a personal challenge due to chronic illness and a fear of heights. Despite these obstacles, each step became a testament to the courage of facing fear and navigating towards the awaiting light.
Reflecting on this experience, the photograph captures the transformative power found in navigating through challenges. It represents the bravery we all need to face our fears so that we can move forward, become more grounded and confident within ourselves, and ultimately find our way towards the light in even the darkest of times. In a world full of uncertainty and challenges, the lighthouse reminds us that there is always a guiding light that can help us find our way home.
The Journey is a visual chronicle spanning from 2018 to 2023, capturing moments in the Pacific Northwest on the Oregon Coast, within my family's wooded sanctuary, and amid the flourishing life of my garden and yard. Initially, these vignettes were spontaneous captures, fragments of time that resonated with personal significance.
As I revisit and compile these clips in 2023, a narrative unfolds—unplanned yet deeply profound. The Journey now encapsulates my voyage of healing, a tapestry woven from nature's wisdom and the evolution of my own understanding. Each frame is a testament to the therapeutic dialogue between myself and the natural world, a silent exchange that has been both witness and catalyst to transformation.
The deliberate choice of a square format for "The Journey" serves as a visual metaphor, providing a unique perspective on the narrative within. Unlike traditional rectangular frames, the square format invites a focused and intimate viewing experience, directing attention to the essence of each moment captured. The square, inherently balanced and symmetrical, acts as a harmonious container for the diverse snippets of nature's wisdom and personal reflections.
In this video, I invite the viewer to traverse landscapes that mirror my own inner terrain, witness the dance of woodland giants, and listen to the whispers carried by the wind. The Journey is a mosaic of moments, a visual poem documenting the beauty found in simplicity, the therapeutic balm of nature, and the ever-unfolding path of self-discovery.
The Journey is a visual chronicle spanning from 2018 to 2023, capturing moments in the Pacific Northwest on the Oregon Coast, within my family's wooded sanctuary, and amid the flourishing life of my garden and yard. Initially, these vignettes were spontaneous captures, fragments of time that resonated with personal significance.
As I revisit and compile these clips in 2023, a narrative unfolds—unplanned yet deeply profound. The Journey now encapsulates my voyage of healing, a tapestry woven from nature's wisdom and the evolution of my own understanding. Each frame is a testament to the therapeutic dialogue between myself and the natural world, a silent exchange that has been both witness and catalyst to transformation.
The deliberate choice of a square format for "The Journey" serves as a visual metaphor, providing a unique perspective on the narrative within. Unlike traditional rectangular frames, the square format invites a focused and intimate viewing experience, directing attention to the essence of each moment captured. The square, inherently balanced and symmetrical, acts as a harmonious container for the diverse snippets of nature's wisdom and personal reflections.
In this video, I invite the viewer to traverse landscapes that mirror my own inner terrain, witness the dance of woodland giants, and listen to the whispers carried by the wind. The Journey is a mosaic of moments, a visual poem documenting the beauty found in simplicity, the therapeutic balm of nature, and the ever-unfolding path of self-discovery.
The only thing I will take with me when I leave this earth plane will be my memory track (symbolized by Forget me knots) Guru transmits wisdom on my left shoulder and if I still my mind, I will remember to control my thoughts, words and actions, shaping my future reality and renting the veil of separation.
The only thing I will take with me when I leave this earth plane will be my memory track (symbolized by Forget me knots) Guru transmits wisdom on my left shoulder and if I still my mind, I will remember to control my thoughts, words and actions, shaping my future reality and renting the veil of separation.
This year I had to make one of the most difficult decision of my life. There was so much fear involved. Fear of the million ways it could go wrong. Fear of being judged. Fear of hurting others in the process. But most of all, fear of being exposed and vulnerable. A dear friend encouraged me to do the hardest thing of all—to be honest with myself, and make the changes needed for thriving in the coming years. She said, “What if you stop trying to hold everything together. What if you just fall and trust that you will be caught tenderly in God’s hands.”
So I did. And I was.
This year I had to make one of the most difficult decision of my life. There was so much fear involved. Fear of the million ways it could go wrong. Fear of being judged. Fear of hurting others in the process. But most of all, fear of being exposed and vulnerable. A dear friend encouraged me to do the hardest thing of all—to be honest with myself, and make the changes needed for thriving in the coming years. She said, “What if you stop trying to hold everything together. What if you just fall and trust that you will be caught tenderly in God’s hands.”
So I did. And I was.
The inspiration of this Gouache painting is the slight warm smile Grace gave me while we shared 10 days of isolation from the other skilled nursing patients due to surprisingly contracting COVID.
Ninety nine year old Grace mostly spoke in her sleep.
Often words were spoken of her family. I used to talk about my family in my sleep. Therefore, I titled the Artwork "Revealing 6 degrees of Separation from Grace.
The inspiration of this Gouache painting is the slight warm smile Grace gave me while we shared 10 days of isolation from the other skilled nursing patients due to surprisingly contracting COVID.
Ninety nine year old Grace mostly spoke in her sleep.
Often words were spoken of her family. I used to talk about my family in my sleep. Therefore, I titled the Artwork "Revealing 6 degrees of Separation from Grace.
Collection: My Menagerie; Where the overarching theme is to use art to manifest the preposterous things that would bring me happiness because, for example, who wouldn’t want to jam with animals in a meadow in the mountains?
Collection: My Menagerie; Where the overarching theme is to use art to manifest the preposterous things that would bring me happiness because, for example, who wouldn’t want to jam with animals in a meadow in the mountains?
When I think of myself, I think of the parts of my life that created who I am today. The emotions that have come and go with these experiences are demonstrated in this piece. The left side represents my anger and frustration. I grew up in a small home with a single mother. Being the oldest sibling, I have been the person who takes on the responsibilities that my mother cannot face alone. The anger comes with believing that no matter what I do or what I try, these issues will never go away. I keep this anger bottled inside making myself scream from within. The right side reveals my personality that is often portrayed to those who do not know me. The calm settle smile is what people see when I show myself. I try to take on challenges with confidence that I may be able to fix them for the viewer, but in the end I may not be the person I display. The middle represents those two parts of me combined to show the strong woman I am. Not letting these emotions attack my spirit, but remembering they are me, I look on to the world with a stern mask to show that no matter what I have been through, this is me.
When I think of myself, I think of the parts of my life that created who I am today. The emotions that have come and go with these experiences are demonstrated in this piece. The left side represents my anger and frustration. I grew up in a small home with a single mother. Being the oldest sibling, I have been the person who takes on the responsibilities that my mother cannot face alone. The anger comes with believing that no matter what I do or what I try, these issues will never go away. I keep this anger bottled inside making myself scream from within. The right side reveals my personality that is often portrayed to those who do not know me. The calm settle smile is what people see when I show myself. I try to take on challenges with confidence that I may be able to fix them for the viewer, but in the end I may not be the person I display. The middle represents those two parts of me combined to show the strong woman I am. Not letting these emotions attack my spirit, but remembering they are me, I look on to the world with a stern mask to show that no matter what I have been through, this is me.
I created this self-portrait using an ink pad, similar to the ones used for taking finger prints to identify and catalogue people in an official capacity. Using my fingerprints to describe my physical form is my unique expression of my outward self. My fingers and my hands are an important part of who I am.
I created this self-portrait using an ink pad, similar to the ones used for taking finger prints to identify and catalogue people in an official capacity. Using my fingerprints to describe my physical form is my unique expression of my outward self. My fingers and my hands are an important part of who I am.
This piece is part of my ongoing series, The Birth of a Black Mother. It represents the healing process, the ways in which I’ve connected to my spirituality to bring myself out of dark times and postpartum depression.
This piece is part of my ongoing series, The Birth of a Black Mother. It represents the healing process, the ways in which I’ve connected to my spirituality to bring myself out of dark times and postpartum depression.
Be yourself! You wear afro, curly, straight? - You are beautiful!
Be yourself! You wear afro, curly, straight? - You are beautiful!
Be yourself, you are too beautiful you leave someone else’s life.
Be yourself, you are too beautiful you leave someone else’s life.
Find your peaceful place, your peaceful person, peaceful thoughts. Find Peace
Find your peaceful place, your peaceful person, peaceful thoughts. Find Peace
You are perfect just the way you are! Doesn’t matter what color, size, you are special.
You are perfect just the way you are! Doesn’t matter what color, size, you are special.
Whenever I need to "anchor" to the earth, to connect with nature, or better appreciate simple events, I love to get into a body of water to float and look up at the sun. Then, I am fully restored!
Whenever I need to "anchor" to the earth, to connect with nature, or better appreciate simple events, I love to get into a body of water to float and look up at the sun. Then, I am fully restored!
I am getting angry more and more. A contemporary woman lasts in a permanent conflict – inner – with herself and outer – striving to meet the requirements imposed on her by society.
I am getting angry more and more. A contemporary woman lasts in a permanent conflict – inner – with herself and outer – striving to meet the requirements imposed on her by society.
Shadows often hide and conceal beauty that is revealed in the light.
Shadows often hide and conceal beauty that is revealed in the light.
A walk in the park on a cloudy Oregon day with three generations and Betty the black dog.
A walk in the park on a cloudy Oregon day with three generations and Betty the black dog.
This piece represents my emerging growth from the crippling depths of bipolar disorder and growing as an emerging artist who sought out painting as a venue to evict the constant chaos that inhabits my mind.
This piece represents my emerging growth from the crippling depths of bipolar disorder and growing as an emerging artist who sought out painting as a venue to evict the constant chaos that inhabits my mind.
The woman’s body is a temple. She grows a life inside her. That love she has for that child is eternal. Amor Eterno.
The woman’s body is a temple. She grows a life inside her. That love she has for that child is eternal. Amor Eterno.
Remembering the past and still being sad about it. Even if your current status is no where near those times, they still hurt.
Remembering the past and still being sad about it. Even if your current status is no where near those times, they still hurt.
As an older woman, I often feel that I have lost my wild side. This image made me feel like it is time to remember who I am!
As an older woman, I often feel that I have lost my wild side. This image made me feel like it is time to remember who I am!
I had a stroke on Dec 31st, 2023 and it has caused a massive shift in the way I must live my life as my brain heals. I am an intense, driven, Type A, ADHD, Enneagram 8 and am struggling with the radical slowing of pace, and the constant naps, that healing from a stroke requires. The vision I have of myself as a strong, independent, and autonomous woman is skewed from the reality of what I am able to do right now. It is very frustrating...
I had a stroke on Dec 31st, 2023 and it has caused a massive shift in the way I must live my life as my brain heals. I am an intense, driven, Type A, ADHD, Enneagram 8 and am struggling with the radical slowing of pace, and the constant naps, that healing from a stroke requires. The vision I have of myself as a strong, independent, and autonomous woman is skewed from the reality of what I am able to do right now. It is very frustrating...
I suffered a stroke recently and had to spend 4 days in the ICU, where my responses to the Stroke Scale were evaluated every hour on the hour for at least 12 hours, and then routinely until I left the hospital. My Vision of Self morphed radically over the course of those few days... It continues to shift as I regain strength and stamina, or encounter setbacks and feel fatigued from doing simple everyday activities. One day at a time, I remind myself. One day at a time...
I suffered a stroke recently and had to spend 4 days in the ICU, where my responses to the Stroke Scale were evaluated every hour on the hour for at least 12 hours, and then routinely until I left the hospital. My Vision of Self morphed radically over the course of those few days... It continues to shift as I regain strength and stamina, or encounter setbacks and feel fatigued from doing simple everyday activities. One day at a time, I remind myself. One day at a time...
Most dreams disappear the moment we wake up, but sometimes we remember the breaking sun of happiness or the tears of sadness in our throat. Both so compelling; we never want to let go.
Most dreams disappear the moment we wake up, but sometimes we remember the breaking sun of happiness or the tears of sadness in our throat. Both so compelling; we never want to let go.
This image has so many possible stories. Many of them perhaps resulting in "Dear Abby" letters
This image has so many possible stories. Many of them perhaps resulting in "Dear Abby" letters
She was perfect when she arrived. She waited for a long time for her closeup and it never came. Until now, when she revealed all of herself with silver and rose veined petals and leaves just starting to brown. Still perfect. And definitely unapologetic.
She was perfect when she arrived. She waited for a long time for her closeup and it never came. Until now, when she revealed all of herself with silver and rose veined petals and leaves just starting to brown. Still perfect. And definitely unapologetic.
Having a dual heritage (Hispanic on my father's side, Anglo on my mother's) created an identity crisis for me that I still struggle to resolve. The figure is displayed in a setting with colorful Latin inspired fabrics and a chicken, quilt and scarf that says "Memphis" on it that represent both sides of my ethnicity. The figure is divided in the same way I felt as I matured and responded to the typical question of "what are you?"
Having a dual heritage (Hispanic on my father's side, Anglo on my mother's) created an identity crisis for me that I still struggle to resolve. The figure is displayed in a setting with colorful Latin inspired fabrics and a chicken, quilt and scarf that says "Memphis" on it that represent both sides of my ethnicity. The figure is divided in the same way I felt as I matured and responded to the typical question of "what are you?"
This painting depicts me ironing my hair to try and fit the popular look of the day: the long, straight (blonde) surfer girl. I did not fit the profile with my long, curly dark hair and Hispanic features. Identity has been a lifelong issue for me and this painting is my way of exploring who I am, outside of outward appearances.
This painting depicts me ironing my hair to try and fit the popular look of the day: the long, straight (blonde) surfer girl. I did not fit the profile with my long, curly dark hair and Hispanic features. Identity has been a lifelong issue for me and this painting is my way of exploring who I am, outside of outward appearances.
As a middle child with two brothers I longed for a sister. As an adult I've been blessed with six daughters! I've been most positively transformed through these six amazing women so intimately linked to my life.
As a middle child with two brothers I longed for a sister. As an adult I've been blessed with six daughters! I've been most positively transformed through these six amazing women so intimately linked to my life.
I loved the delighted, adoring expression on the groom's face in the reference photo, but was disturbed to not be able to see the bride's face. The solution was to paint two paintings which both tell an integral part of the story of this happy wedding day. Incidentally, my husband and I were married for 30 years before we learned to dance together. Now he's my favorite dance partner in the world. I admire the foresight of this romantic young couple in tackling that hurdle right away!
I loved the delighted, adoring expression on the groom's face in the reference photo, but was disturbed to not be able to see the bride's face. The solution was to paint two paintings which both tell an integral part of the story of this happy wedding day. Incidentally, my husband and I were married for 30 years before we learned to dance together. Now he's my favorite dance partner in the world. I admire the foresight of this romantic young couple in tackling that hurdle right away!
Nineteen sixty-four. I am eighteen years old, my life in front of me. Fear? Undoubtedly. But the desire for adventure, excitement and joy takes precedence. I jump in.
Nineteen sixty-four. I am eighteen years old, my life in front of me. Fear? Undoubtedly. But the desire for adventure, excitement and joy takes precedence. I jump in.
This was all imaginary.
This was all imaginary.
A long bout of vertigo for most of the year made 2023 a tilting, spinning challenge. With so much chaos in my inner and outer world, I hold onto the rock at the core of my life - I really have so much to be grateful for each day.
A long bout of vertigo for most of the year made 2023 a tilting, spinning challenge. With so much chaos in my inner and outer world, I hold onto the rock at the core of my life - I really have so much to be grateful for each day.
This piece represents the dark and difficult struggles - exploring a sense of dark. The bubble that I am in this time is black. I am there too, but not even seen. Inky swirling unknown colors and void surround me; grief, isolation, heaviness accompanies me as I hover through my journey. The outer world touches my bubble, sliding off; I am still here, somewhere, surviving. The bubble protects me too when it’s too dark.
Using solely ink in this piece was fun, such a fluid medium that can’t be controlled, yet I was able to guide it into a story I could resonate with. It felt like life and the challenges we face when it feels out of control.
This piece represents the dark and difficult struggles - exploring a sense of dark. The bubble that I am in this time is black. I am there too, but not even seen. Inky swirling unknown colors and void surround me; grief, isolation, heaviness accompanies me as I hover through my journey. The outer world touches my bubble, sliding off; I am still here, somewhere, surviving. The bubble protects me too when it’s too dark.
Using solely ink in this piece was fun, such a fluid medium that can’t be controlled, yet I was able to guide it into a story I could resonate with. It felt like life and the challenges we face when it feels out of control.
I did this piece with an idea of balance, I first mocked up a dark digital cloud sky to add a dark and light background for the inks to later glide across and reflect both the light and dark spaces of life. The earthy pastel bubble and the me within contrast to the outer flowing ethereal world beyond. This piece felt so connected, I was able to portray my sense of isolation in the bubble, the unknown of life in the inkiness, but also the gift of traveling through time and life, fragility. As I stand there pressing my hands up, am I trying to escape it or holding on, worshipping or giving up? I am still standing, floating through the journey. Dark and light around me, but I’m ok.
I liked the bubble concept right now as I’ve been getting new medical help for a chronic problem which has kept me more isolated. Grieving pain, loss, and disconnection has brought me back around to also seeing the connectedness I have in pockets of treasured spaces and people. The bubble reflects feeling safe, protected, but also isolated, lonely, fragile. I do hope to emerge more and burst through at some point, I feel like maybe it’s happening… or maybe soon. The ink required me to be so right brained, giving into the process; it flows so much it’s hard to control- that wound up so perfect for how life itself can be. The pastels are more in my wheelhouse so using them to have a space to create intentional shapes and earthbound imagery was also an enjoyable reflection the medium itself brought me.
I did this piece with an idea of balance, I first mocked up a dark digital cloud sky to add a dark and light background for the inks to later glide across and reflect both the light and dark spaces of life. The earthy pastel bubble and the me within contrast to the outer flowing ethereal world beyond. This piece felt so connected, I was able to portray my sense of isolation in the bubble, the unknown of life in the inkiness, but also the gift of traveling through time and life, fragility. As I stand there pressing my hands up, am I trying to escape it or holding on, worshipping or giving up? I am still standing, floating through the journey. Dark and light around me, but I’m ok.
I liked the bubble concept right now as I’ve been getting new medical help for a chronic problem which has kept me more isolated. Grieving pain, loss, and disconnection has brought me back around to also seeing the connectedness I have in pockets of treasured spaces and people. The bubble reflects feeling safe, protected, but also isolated, lonely, fragile. I do hope to emerge more and burst through at some point, I feel like maybe it’s happening… or maybe soon. The ink required me to be so right brained, giving into the process; it flows so much it’s hard to control- that wound up so perfect for how life itself can be. The pastels are more in my wheelhouse so using them to have a space to create intentional shapes and earthbound imagery was also an enjoyable reflection the medium itself brought me.
This piece was made in a place of grief for me. Only a few days after it hit me, I sat down and started sketching. I can’t fully describe what I felt, but this piece does; I managed to do what I have often subconsciously done over the years with my art: put every ounce of raw emotion straight onto paper. Surrounded by emptiness, feeling vulnerable as if everyone can see through me and yet like no one really sees me or my pain. Lost in the blank space between old seasons dying and new things birthed. The agony of the unknown combined with the fleeting stability of old habits. All wrapped up into one heartfelt piece.
This piece was made in a place of grief for me. Only a few days after it hit me, I sat down and started sketching. I can’t fully describe what I felt, but this piece does; I managed to do what I have often subconsciously done over the years with my art: put every ounce of raw emotion straight onto paper. Surrounded by emptiness, feeling vulnerable as if everyone can see through me and yet like no one really sees me or my pain. Lost in the blank space between old seasons dying and new things birthed. The agony of the unknown combined with the fleeting stability of old habits. All wrapped up into one heartfelt piece.
This piece is very reflective of my emotions and my heart. I stand holding a diamond close to my heart, my treasure, my most prized possession, sparkling in the sunlight and reflecting its beauty onto my face… and my tears. The only thing I wouldn’t give up for anyone, the only thing I coveted so strongly, so close to my heart, yet I knew it was time to give it up. The threat of darkness was closing in behind me, yet the promise of hope glimmered on my face. It felt as though, at times, this treasure was the only thing keeping me safe. What would happen if I let it go? Would darkness consume me? Or would light lead me to where I was meant to be?
This piece is very reflective of my emotions and my heart. I stand holding a diamond close to my heart, my treasure, my most prized possession, sparkling in the sunlight and reflecting its beauty onto my face… and my tears. The only thing I wouldn’t give up for anyone, the only thing I coveted so strongly, so close to my heart, yet I knew it was time to give it up. The threat of darkness was closing in behind me, yet the promise of hope glimmered on my face. It felt as though, at times, this treasure was the only thing keeping me safe. What would happen if I let it go? Would darkness consume me? Or would light lead me to where I was meant to be?
While walking near my home I saw a grove of beautiful thorny, dustily frosted vines and was reminded of a thicket I hid in as a child when reality was too much to bear. I realized, in a way, I never stopped hiding and have only constructed more thorough armor over the decades since I left the thicket. This piece was letting the part of me who still needs to hide document her experience.
While walking near my home I saw a grove of beautiful thorny, dustily frosted vines and was reminded of a thicket I hid in as a child when reality was too much to bear. I realized, in a way, I never stopped hiding and have only constructed more thorough armor over the decades since I left the thicket. This piece was letting the part of me who still needs to hide document her experience.
This is a commentary on domestic violence in a marriage. The woman figure is "breaking out" of the toxic narrative to free herself from physical and emotional abuse she has endured.
This is a commentary on domestic violence in a marriage. The woman figure is "breaking out" of the toxic narrative to free herself from physical and emotional abuse she has endured.
In this piece, I conformed my own body to fit the dimensions of the canvas. I used this idea of “fitting into a box” to symbolize my feeling of being constricted by my gender. Women are forced by society to conform to unrealistic expectations, take on the burdens of others, and please. This unjust pressure makes me feel trapped, uncomfortable, and claustrophobic. To create this feeling I used expressive brush strokes, exaggerated perspective, and an uncomfortable composition. To give a viewer a feeling of tight constriction.
In this piece, I conformed my own body to fit the dimensions of the canvas. I used this idea of “fitting into a box” to symbolize my feeling of being constricted by my gender. Women are forced by society to conform to unrealistic expectations, take on the burdens of others, and please. This unjust pressure makes me feel trapped, uncomfortable, and claustrophobic. To create this feeling I used expressive brush strokes, exaggerated perspective, and an uncomfortable composition. To give a viewer a feeling of tight constriction.
What this painting means to me is the darkness that surrounds us—statements with holes in them, doors that go nowhere, melting truths. Days fractured with deception, See the witch doctor on the far right, glaring and demonic. I’m featured in the center with a ragged red shape behind me trying to find joy in every day and grateful to be here.
What this painting means to me is the darkness that surrounds us—statements with holes in them, doors that go nowhere, melting truths. Days fractured with deception, See the witch doctor on the far right, glaring and demonic. I’m featured in the center with a ragged red shape behind me trying to find joy in every day and grateful to be here.
I wanted to depict the place I fell into when I was going through one of the hardest and most agonizing times of my life. Drifting into the Void was easy to fall into but incredibly hard to get out of. Thankfully, its been over year since i've been in the Void. I wanted to show others it's okay to be in our own Voids. We can overcome dark times by believing in hope and most importantly, in ourselves.
I wanted to depict the place I fell into when I was going through one of the hardest and most agonizing times of my life. Drifting into the Void was easy to fall into but incredibly hard to get out of. Thankfully, its been over year since i've been in the Void. I wanted to show others it's okay to be in our own Voids. We can overcome dark times by believing in hope and most importantly, in ourselves.
I created this painting thinking about my own identity as a neurodivergent, mixed-race Dutch/Indonesian person born in California. It serves as a reminder to eat and rest.
I created this painting thinking about my own identity as a neurodivergent, mixed-race Dutch/Indonesian person born in California. It serves as a reminder to eat and rest.
This self-portrait represents a state of being for all people, especially women, in that we metaphorically wear masks, and that we change depending and where we are and who we are with, sometimes by choice, and sometimes because we believe it's required of us. Wearing masks isn't necessarily bad -- the challenge is to remain true to yourself , your core beliefs, and your power, even when you're masked. The image depicts me in a silly, saucy mask that I chose for myself, that made me laugh. It's an image where I was comfortable in my own skin.
This self-portrait represents a state of being for all people, especially women, in that we metaphorically wear masks, and that we change depending and where we are and who we are with, sometimes by choice, and sometimes because we believe it's required of us. Wearing masks isn't necessarily bad -- the challenge is to remain true to yourself , your core beliefs, and your power, even when you're masked. The image depicts me in a silly, saucy mask that I chose for myself, that made me laugh. It's an image where I was comfortable in my own skin.
I attempt to integrate the experience of my own complicated transformation into womanhood with the heavy, genetic and collective memory of the matriarchs of my maternal line. Motifs of Carnation milk and quilt squares are personal symbols for me, harkening back to my maternal great grandmother’s own artistic expression and my maternal great grandfather’s labor during their time as a young, Portuguese-American couple on their farm in the California central valley. The piece also draws upon Catholic theological concepts of transubstantiation and the stigmata, albeit reimagined as moving from flesh to ethereal (rather than vice versa), and my own permanent wounds from botched endometriosis surgery, respectively. In the piece I explore the idea of simultaneous death and rebirth through portals of spheres, flame, and void.
I attempt to integrate the experience of my own complicated transformation into womanhood with the heavy, genetic and collective memory of the matriarchs of my maternal line. Motifs of Carnation milk and quilt squares are personal symbols for me, harkening back to my maternal great grandmother’s own artistic expression and my maternal great grandfather’s labor during their time as a young, Portuguese-American couple on their farm in the California central valley. The piece also draws upon Catholic theological concepts of transubstantiation and the stigmata, albeit reimagined as moving from flesh to ethereal (rather than vice versa), and my own permanent wounds from botched endometriosis surgery, respectively. In the piece I explore the idea of simultaneous death and rebirth through portals of spheres, flame, and void.
I drew this in 1987 when I was 37...half my life ago. I still see myself today in that determined young woman.
I drew this in 1987 when I was 37...half my life ago. I still see myself today in that determined young woman.
I did this drawing when I was 37... half my life ago. I still relate the seeking woman I was then!
I did this drawing when I was 37... half my life ago. I still relate the seeking woman I was then!
My body ached from childbirth. A new mother, I could not go anywhere physically, but I was everywhere mentally. I found a Paradise Within.
My body ached from childbirth. A new mother, I could not go anywhere physically, but I was everywhere mentally. I found a Paradise Within.
When I was a little girl, my hair was so wild, my siblings would call me a cave woman and madusa. I hated my hair. Every time lately, when I brush my little girls hair, I have flash backs to the day’s my mother struggled to run the brush through my own curly mop. Sometimes, the brush got stuck, and it hurt like mad.
As I grew up, my hair went from being something despised, to something I cherished. It became that one thing someone would stop me to compliment. As a young lady, when I wanted to be pretty, I simply let my hair down. Managing wild hair became a little symbolic of life, and that life itself is stubborn. Life has it’s own mind. You simply can’t control it, nor should you. Just manage it. Go with it. See where it takes you.
With my hair, I got to a point where I intentionally just messed it up. Woke up. Climbed out of bed. Took it out of a bun. Flipped it, and messed it. On those days, no one said I had messy hair. They said my hair was awesome. Ironic.
When I was a little girl, my hair was so wild, my siblings would call me a cave woman and madusa. I hated my hair. Every time lately, when I brush my little girls hair, I have flash backs to the day’s my mother struggled to run the brush through my own curly mop. Sometimes, the brush got stuck, and it hurt like mad.
As I grew up, my hair went from being something despised, to something I cherished. It became that one thing someone would stop me to compliment. As a young lady, when I wanted to be pretty, I simply let my hair down. Managing wild hair became a little symbolic of life, and that life itself is stubborn. Life has it’s own mind. You simply can’t control it, nor should you. Just manage it. Go with it. See where it takes you.
With my hair, I got to a point where I intentionally just messed it up. Woke up. Climbed out of bed. Took it out of a bun. Flipped it, and messed it. On those days, no one said I had messy hair. They said my hair was awesome. Ironic.
As a woman, the date 24 June 2022, is engrained into my memory. It was on that day that Roe v. Wade was overturned and trigger laws fell into place in many states, criminalizing women’s health care. Even though in the moment there were no immediate consequences to my own situation, the act of having my rights stripped from me was just the same. That day our voice was taken by those in power and our bodies were no longer our own. In the time since, outrage has been expressed but it does not seem to be heard or noticed, now subjecting women to make more difficult decisions and complex situations. The uncertainty of the future, brings anxieties and worries that are exclusive to women for simply being.
As a woman, the date 24 June 2022, is engrained into my memory. It was on that day that Roe v. Wade was overturned and trigger laws fell into place in many states, criminalizing women’s health care. Even though in the moment there were no immediate consequences to my own situation, the act of having my rights stripped from me was just the same. That day our voice was taken by those in power and our bodies were no longer our own. In the time since, outrage has been expressed but it does not seem to be heard or noticed, now subjecting women to make more difficult decisions and complex situations. The uncertainty of the future, brings anxieties and worries that are exclusive to women for simply being.
The motivation for this piece was to highlight women’s struggles with bodily autonomy which in turn are my own struggles as a woman. However, when speaking on women’s rights, many people bring in narrow minded and selfish viewpoints, not considering other people and their situations. Standing at 6ft, the drawing highlights a woman’s body that belongs to not a specific individual but women as a whole, for the conversation is larger than a single individual. The splatters of cows blood are focused on the places on our bodies that are objectified, controlled, and scrutinized, as well as symbolic of the treatment of women as breeding stock. As a woman, advocating and representing women who have had their bodily autonomy stripped from them and are subjected to the scrutiny of men, will always be a negative part of my experience living in the South and in the United States in general.
The motivation for this piece was to highlight women’s struggles with bodily autonomy which in turn are my own struggles as a woman. However, when speaking on women’s rights, many people bring in narrow minded and selfish viewpoints, not considering other people and their situations. Standing at 6ft, the drawing highlights a woman’s body that belongs to not a specific individual but women as a whole, for the conversation is larger than a single individual. The splatters of cows blood are focused on the places on our bodies that are objectified, controlled, and scrutinized, as well as symbolic of the treatment of women as breeding stock. As a woman, advocating and representing women who have had their bodily autonomy stripped from them and are subjected to the scrutiny of men, will always be a negative part of my experience living in the South and in the United States in general.
A few years ago I was engaged right after graduating high school. That relationship was toxic and abusive but I didn't see this until it ended. All of my friends and family tried to get me to leave it but I refused to even though I knew I needed to. A situation I thought I was seeing clearly through, I was seeing through a hazy veil. I use the translucent veil to represent my judgment, one which I look through for help instead of looking outside of it. I'm isolated by the chair blocking anyone from removing me from the situation. I lift the veil in an attempt to gently remove it but my effort fails as it falls from my hands.
A few years ago I was engaged right after graduating high school. That relationship was toxic and abusive but I didn't see this until it ended. All of my friends and family tried to get me to leave it but I refused to even though I knew I needed to. A situation I thought I was seeing clearly through, I was seeing through a hazy veil. I use the translucent veil to represent my judgment, one which I look through for help instead of looking outside of it. I'm isolated by the chair blocking anyone from removing me from the situation. I lift the veil in an attempt to gently remove it but my effort fails as it falls from my hands.
I was playing with the idea that I never actually feel alone when I am in my studio as there is a constant flow of animated imagery and dialogues among the images that goes on while I work.
I was playing with the idea that I never actually feel alone when I am in my studio as there is a constant flow of animated imagery and dialogues among the images that goes on while I work.
I wanted to convey the complexity of the human psyche in contrast to insistence that each of us has a unified identity and a singular way of being, believing, behaving, understanding.
I wanted to convey the complexity of the human psyche in contrast to insistence that each of us has a unified identity and a singular way of being, believing, behaving, understanding.
The current environmental mix of climate change, wars, and other human threats of our own making can stir despair in me, but there is another part of me that sees a bigger picture where hope remains viable and worthwhile.
The current environmental mix of climate change, wars, and other human threats of our own making can stir despair in me, but there is another part of me that sees a bigger picture where hope remains viable and worthwhile.
As a child, I was always being told to hush up, quiet down, or I would scare the boys away
As a child, I was always being told to hush up, quiet down, or I would scare the boys away
I played violin for many years. The violin became an extension of my body. The music was lovely
I played violin for many years. The violin became an extension of my body. The music was lovely
